STEP ONE set up your altar
- find a flat surface
- on the surface, place a white cloth (symbolizing purity and holiness)
- on your cloth, place statues/figures/general representations of our divine overlords - FLAVIO and EXILE
(if you do not have access to figures or statues, you may make one out of clay or use a representation of the gods through other similarly colored objects)
- ensure that your statues are in the center of the cloth
STEP TWO you will now begin to surround them with offerings
- first, offer food: chocolate or dark colored foods for EXILE, and strawberries, or red/pink colored foods (or drugs) for FLAVIO
- next, offer beverage: fossil fuels for EXILE, and cough syrup for FLAVIO. if you cannot access these items, use a replacement, but be prepared for divine punishment if your replacement is awful.
- then, offer clothing: air jordans for EXILE, and soft slippers for FLAVIO. if you are unable to get these items, just get some banger clothing, bonus point if its bunnies for FLAVIO. bonus points if its emo for EXILE.
- finally, offer weaponry: rusty marshmallow roasting stick/spike for EXILE, and a rubix cube for FLAVIO. if you are unable to obtain these items, you may use a representation of psychological torture for FLAVIO, and a representation of stabbing people for EXILE.
- the offerings should be set around your representations of our gods, in a circular shape, with FLAVIO's offerings closer to FLAVIO, and EXILE's offerings closer to EXILE.
STEP THREE now you will set the candles on the back of the altar.
- first - a red candle. a symbolization of the blood of their enemies.
- second - an orange candle. a symbolization of the color orange.
- third - a yellow candle. a symbolization of LIL' JAUNDICE.
- fourth - a green candle. a symbolization of biological material.
- fifth - a blue candle. a symbolization of tears of the innocent.
- sixth - a purple candle. a symbolization of the purbles.
- seventh - a black candle. a symbolization of your sins.
- if you cannot use candles, the most important thing is the colors. you may use paper, pens, literally just get colors idk man
- destroy the black candle through lighting it. do not harm the other candles. (if you are using a non-candle just break it or something.)
STEP FOUR as the black candle burns, recite the holy prayers.
- The first prayer is said as such, and will give you the divine protection of the gods:
"Through darkness and the dead of day,
We hold our hands and start to pray,
For your blessings and protection,
For no dysfunction in our erections.
And other things, from your divine power,
We stand here at this holy hour.
We offer you our minds and hearts...
And eat the offerings to begin our start."
[now you will eat the food offerings that you gave to the gods. this will empower you with the god's divine protection.]
- The second prayer is said as such, and will give you the divine blessings of the gods:
"Through brightness and the life of night,
We hold our hands in new delight,
We ask of you, our divine
We look at you and your sublime.
We watch in awe, and bear your grace,
We appreciate your gorgeous face.
And now we wear the garments holy,
To embrace your divinity fully.
[now you will wear the clothing offerings that you gave to the gods. this will empower you with their many blessings.]
- The third prayer is said as such, and will grant you one wish upon entering the brotherhood.
"And lastly, I offer up to you
A part of me, I will imbue,
We wash our hands with holy water
So that our souls will travel farther.
[ drink water. ]
And finally, I ask of you,
If a wish of mine may now come true.
And to my death, I shall await...
Until you grant my lasting fate.
[ say aloud your greatest wish (starting with "I wish..."), and one day it shall come true, if you are loyal to our divine protectors. ]
Congratulations, you have finished your ascension ritual, now please proceed to the sacrifice.